Title: The Intelligent Foreigner at The Wild West

Periodical: Fun

Date: May 18, 1887

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AN INTELLIGENT FOREIGNER AT THE WILD WEST.

VEN my friend Jollidogue demand of me vill I go viz him to see ze Vild Vest, M. Redacteur, I say, vy certainly not; and in explanations I say zat ze days of my youf zey are gone, and it is too late at my time of lifetime to indulge more in ze vild larks ouside ze Criterion and ze place of Vaterloo, and ze great spree in ze hours zat are small. Jollidogue ansare it is quite annozare kettle of fishes he have to fry aujourd'hui soir—it is annozare vest, and zey are annozare vilds to vich he desire me to accompany him. Vat he mean is vill I go viz him to ze vilds of Souf Kensignton, to see Buffalo Bill and his Indian train. I go in ze ozzare Indian—I mean engine train.

I have been! Ma foi! il me semble zat I have seen in ze life all of vich I have read in ze books of ze much read Mayne Reid, Fenimore ze Cooper, Mark Hart and Bret Twain; I have seen Bill of ze Buffaloes (I suppose ze Buffaloes call him a Coercion Bill), and I have regarded his show of rain or shine—mostly I sink it vas a shine zey kick up, alzough everybody vas ver' clevare vit ze reins. To tell you all about it, sare, vould fill as much space as ze bill postare of Bill himself, so il suffit zat I record some of my notes.

Ze red Indians vere vonderfuls, also zeir vigs of vams, also ze vigs of zeir head, still more so zeir sqvaws and ze leetle Indians vich I sink zey call sqvallares. All ze vorld vas zeir regarding ze Indian Chief and zeir sqvaws, including many of your Engleesh Chief vit zeir sqvaws (also in feuzzares and var paint.)

Ze cowboy he is étonnant almost as much so as your vat you call hobbledehoy, only ze latter I sink you call not cowboy but calf, and he, ze hobbledehoy is not so clevare, but much more too clevare.

Buffalo Villiam rule his camp en vrai prince. He tell me all ze camp rules are cody-fied.

Ze clothes of ze vild vesters are made, zey tell me, by ze Sioux Indian ladies.

Of ze pony express I can find no vords to express my admirations. Ze Virginia Reel on horseback make me vish I vas reely in Virginia.

 

Leetle Johnnie Baker shoot so vell zat he vat you call "take ze biscuit." As for Mesdemoiselles Annie Oakley and Lillian Smith, zey shoot vit so much grace, I go home hard hit.

I have heard in your nursery rhyme of ze cow zat jump ovare ze moon. I sink ze next best jumpare is Cowboy Jack, who jump ovare ze mustangs.

I go visit ze Pawnees, and eat so much of zeir pop-corn zat I next go consult zeir medicine man.

I so much admire ze jumping of buck by ze cowboys zat I express to Jollidogue my desire to take part in it. He sink zat if I do I sall be kick by ze jumpare zat buck, and myself kick ze bucket. Aftare a vile I decide not to try. Maintenant, I endeavour to rope and ride a steer of Texas. I do not steer him vell, and bientot, he steer me overboard.

I see ze Coach of Deadvood converted into firevood by ze Indians, and I am full of horror. I cheer ze cowboys who come to ze rescue vit a bull rush. I behold ze same Indians attack ze hut of ze settlare, vich zey completely settle, and I sink ze prairie is a ver grand institution—to look at in ze Vild Vest End. I say so to Mr. Richmond, for at ze Buffalo Billeries, as at Bosvorth, zare is a Richmond in ze field, and he reply, "You bet, stranger." I reply zat I do not bet, but zat aftare vat I have seen I regard him as old pal, and I go home to dream zat I am being scalp by Vild Vest Indians who are smoking ze tomahawk of peace and flourishing ze pipe of vengeance.

Title: The Intelligent Foreigner at The Wild West

Periodical: Fun

Date: May 18, 1887

Topic: European Tours

Keywords: American Indians Cowboys Horses Indians of North America Pawnee Indians Shooting Sioux Nation Stagecoaches

People: Baker, Lewis H., 1869-1931 Cooper, James Fenimore, 1789-1851 Harte, Bret, 1836-1902 Oakley, Annie, 1860-1926 Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

Place: Texas

Sponsor: This project is supported in part by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Geraldine W. & Robert J. Dellenback Foundation.

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