Full Text reads: A Derby Day Romance, and what came of it. "Ups" and "Downs" I have had, as we all of us have— For with smiles Fortune mingles her frowns— But the "ups" are not half so delightful to me As at Epsom are sometimes the downs. Said I to a damsel I met on those downs, "You're a lady I'd like much to own; It is Darby Day now, and your Darby I'll be, If to me you will be a good Joan." "That I will!" she exclaimed, as she smiled in my face— Oh, she looked most bewitchingly smart— She was dressed like a jockey, and soon I perceived She had jockeyed me out of my heart. Next day we were married by Registrar Jones, But in wedlock not long did we journey, For before the sweet honeymoon season was past She eloped with a country attorney. I put on my hat when I heard of the fact, For a hansom I called. In a trice I Had her up before Hannen; and now we are freed By the rule that is known as the nisi. We danced with delight when we found we were free, And she gave me a kiss before starting; Only one thing on earth was more joyous to see Than our meeting, and that was—our parting.