THE "F.O.S." PORTRAIT GALLERY.
NO. 264.—BUFFALO BILL, F.O.S.
"Most of us have heard of Buffalo Bill, whilst many have seen him, so the few incidents concerning his life will, no doubt, prove interesting to all. At his birth, Buffalo Bill possessed very little hair, much to the disappointment of his parents, who were in the hair restoring line of business, and who had looked upon their coming offspring as a possible medium by which to advertize their business. Naturally, the fond parents made frantic efforts to remedy Nature's oversight by the aid of their own patent lubrications, but 'twas all in vain, and at last in disgust they sold the babe to the Indians. Did the Indians succeed in that which the parents failed in? Well, rather! Indians have a good eye to business, and, recognizing how necessary hair would be for successful scalping operations, for which purpose he was purchased, they proceeded to raise a goodly crop by the medium of a hot house sort of arrangement. At the age of fifteen, Bill was the possessor of a splendid lot of curls, and envy was excited in the heart of every Indian of the Sioux race. So much so, in fact, that a council was at once called, at which it was decided to scalp our hero on the morrow. But 'twas not to be, for when the morrow arrived, the genial youth was not to be found; he had fled, taking with him everything of value that he could lay hands upon. Ever since then, William has made things pretty warm for the Indians, and at the present time there is no one feared so much by them as Buffalo Bill. Chiefly because he knows how to keep his hair on, he was created F.O.S., and the 'Sloper Award of Merit' presented to him June 11th, 1887."—Debrett Improved.