The William F. Cody Archive: Documenting the life and times of Buffalo Bill

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Buffalo Bill will have to give out before long. He is expected to be present at every entertainment, public and private. No lady of fashion dreams of giving a ball without having "Buffalo Bill" printed in the corner of the card, and dinner-party invitations are poured upon him by the score.

"Yes, sir," said he the other day to one of our representatives, "it's rather a trial to my nerves, hard as they are. Just you fancy what my feelings were when a waiter came up to me, and said he, 'Scalped oysters, sir?' Of course he meant 'scalloped'; but I tell you what, I felt inclined to take that oyster—I mean that man—by the beard and—Well, I won't say any more."

"And how many balls have you been to, colonel?"

"Well, sir, I s'pose about ninety-nine have been put up for me since I've been in your country. I could only fire—I mean I could only accept fifty-two, but I hit 'em—that is, I went to 'em all."

"And did you indulge in a hop?"

"No, sir. Buck-jumping's more in my line. I fancy," added the gallant colonel, reflectively, "when I get an invite to your Bucking-ham Palace, that I'll have a try. 'Pears to me there's something in the name that seems familiar."

"Quite so," acquiesced our R.

"It's the society, sir, I expect. So mustangy—I beg pardon, so distangy."

"And how do you find this constant round of dissipation act upon your constitution?"

"Well, sir. It's not been good for my liver, sir, and that's a fact. Tell you what, I've a good mind to differentiate my name, and call myself Buffalo Bill-ious!"

After that our R. retired.

Banner image: Buffalo Bill Center of the West, Cody, Wyoming, U.S.A.; Original Buffalo Bill Museum Collection, P.69.118